While checking through messages and general rubbish on facebook I came accross this little gem

My so called love horoscope for the day

“Some changes may be on the romantic horizon, Capricorn, and today you will be able to spend some time reflecting on these changes. Whether you are single or attached, today is a day where you can easily sit back and get some clarity on your own romantic situation, and your intrinsic role in it. Emotions in particular are going to become very clear to you, both yours and the emotions of someone else. Now is the time for you to ponder the why’s and the how’s of the relationship or romantic situation you are currently experiencing. You may be able to get some clarity on areas that need improvement, and the resources needed to do just that.”

May I rewrite this for your viewing pleasure

Three men will text message you today with random bull. One of them being a half blind dwarfe wanting you to go play in the park with bonfires and pixies you have the upperhand as there is no way he will be able to find you when you are out in the dark with your mates. The other two will text you because they are bored but as they are friends you know that there is no romantic interest (that and the fact that they are not pissed enough to accidently include you in their searching for sex at 2am texts). Relationships what relationships if you are reading this you have too much time on your hands go do something with your life you knob head

edit Lemontov will also text you about his desert that is not a code word for anything as you know the man truly loves his pudding

Have a nice day folks