I dreamed I was in a large house staring though doors into other peoples lives. People that are close to me through either family or friendship. I didn’t stop to open any but I bought some sweets at a shop that appeared out of nowhere.

I’m learning stuff about myself that I had forgotten, or had been made to forget how I am my own person and no one can make choices for me that the information that someone can give you is not always the whole story. That they may choose to present you the facts in a certain way to meet their own ends. What they are trying to achieve may not be apparent at first, but they may have their own reasons to meddle.

September has been a month of first’s and maybe lasts in some aspects.

I feel like I am stuck at the moment in a corridor trying to make decisions. I don’t really want to live in England but I feel forced to.

Where would I go to well I don’t know I feel without a country to really call home now

Maybe that is why I am awake at 1am in the morning feeling lost but not want to make bad decisions

There is a side of me that just says leap does it matter where you land as life is short

Go on show me your hand

the food from last night

and puppies I really shouldn’t let them run free in the restuarant. They are getting beyond themselves, on snuck up and tried to hold my hand when I was having a pensive moment thinking about someone (god loves a tryer) but he knows he’s not allowed on the bed

Nad’s told him if he’s really lucky he might be allowed to sleep at the bottom of my bed on the next walking trip we do to keep my feet warm.

She loves giving the boy hope

so been out on a date with Mr Outdoors (I really should stop dating Yorkshire men, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) sent the one I ruv a text finished up the coffee of boredom waited ten minutes and sent a text a text to Mr  Outdoors  wishing him the best and saying I won’t be seeing him again as I skiped off home.

purple

 Having one of those days. The cat keeps sneaking up on my and biting me. I just received an email from an aquaintance about some jewelry site his friend had set up (note if your a fat plain house frau don’t stick your picture on your site honey it puts people off buying things).

Bleh

back to sleeping

I did get some thicker silver wire to play with . . .

I’m sleeping. Went to see district 9 yesterday which put me in a catonic state. I’m not good with large amounts of noise and violence it causes me to retreat into myself.

Made a piece of jewelry which is ugly

thats it feeling sleepy again, I’m wreaked and I have no reason to be

I just bit into some dried Mango to find it had been preserved in salt (dry retch)
Its Saturday the big guy is coming over for a meal and then we are going to the movies (he has a bit of an anger problem so we don’t introduce drink into the evening).

I have already had the usual text messages trying to tempt me out into the bars but I think I’m getting a bit old for that game, as I get bored fast of guys trying to have a conversation with you over music while being jostled by passersby.

English people don’t seem to do the whole entertaining thing at home, I don’t know if this is due to smaller living spaces or whether they don’t get the whole getting dressed up for a dinner party with friends.

I think everyone once a week should dress for dinner, it doesn’t matter what your eating it just makes life a little more fun.

darnit I wish someone would send me flowers